By: Camden Baucke MS LLP
Self-improvement is a journey of challenges and results. Those results are fertile ground for self-criticism or humility. As a therapist, I often see clients struggle to treat themselves with respect as they work towards their goals. Self-criticism and humility are NOT the same, and their differences determine if your self-evaluation is helpful or harmful. Distinguishing these two is crucial for sustaining a healthy balance and self-esteem.
Self-Criticism
Humility
Self-criticism is the tendency to be hard on yourself, stemming from a place of insecurity and fear. It minimizes achievements and focuses on flaws and mistakes. Self-criticism is a relentless barrage of negative self-talk often leading to anxiety and depression.
Humility is a balanced and realistic view of oneself. It does not inflate your strengths, but recognizes them for what they are. Humility fosters a healthy self-esteem and an attitude of acceptance, openness, and growth.
Key factors: Self-Criticism
- Perfectionism:
- The lifelong effort for flawlessness, resulting in unrealistic goal setting and persistent dissatisfaction
- Negative Core Belief:
- Deeply-rooted belief in yourself as flawed or defective
- Comparison:
- The constant evaluation of other’s progress to evaluate your own
Key factors: Humility
- Acceptance:
- Embracing your imperfections as an inevitable and pivotal part of the journey of life
- Self-Awareness:
- A nonjudgmental and realistic assessment of both your strengths and weaknesses
- Role Isolation:
- Your performance in a role does not permeate your entire value as a person
How to Distinguish:
#1: Emotional Tone
Self-criticism: Punitive and drastic experiences leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing
Humility: A calm and curious acceptance of your situation.
#2: Attention
Self-criticism: A pervasive and repetitive focus on your flaws or mistakes
Humility: Recognition of your shortcomings as well as your strengths and accomplishments
#3: Motivation
Self-criticism: Fueled by fear and the urge to avoid failure and consequent rejection
Humility: Actions are driven by the desire for personal growth and to better understand yourself
#4: Sensation
Self-criticism: Expectations lead to shallow breathing, tightness in the chest, and light-headedness
Humility: Acceptance leads to calmness, confidence, and reduced stress, allowing yourself to build resilience and better relationships
How to Foster Humility &
How to Reduce Self-Criticism
#1: Cognitive Challenging:
Not every thought is true. It’s crucial to examine the content and tone of your thoughts to sift through which are accurate and which are demeaning. Humility will still include seeing your mistakes, but self-criticism will use those mistakes as ammunition for you to resent yourself. Create a mental metal detector to see which thoughts are realistic, accurate, and constructive, and deny entry to those that appear overly-punitive and degrading.
#2: Mindfulness & Grounding:
Become an nonjudgmental observer to your thoughts, emotions, and surroundings. Practice the habit of identifying what internally and externally exists in your present moment. This means looking around your room and recognizing details of where you are, and it also means giving words to what you are currently feeling. Humility allows you to be objective to the current situation, where self-criticism will divert your attention to previous failures. Grounding yourself in your time and space fosters mindfulness, and mindfulness promotes humility, not self-criticism.
#3: Balance Your Self-Worth
Humility is not meant to keep our self-worth at a minimum. It is for the purpose of achieving balance, but that is not thinking too little of yourself nor is it thinking too much of yourself. You are not the greatest person in existence, but you are not the worst either. Take time to evaluate the connection between your estimation of your worth and what happens in your life. Self-criticism provides ammunition for self-loathing, but humility protects your value regardless of mistakes. It’s a risk to think more of yourself, but humility will lead you to balance and accuracy.
Conclusion
Your days begin and end with how you treat yourself. Being able to distinguish self-criticism from humility is important in sustaining a healthy self-image and mental well-being. Self-criticism will slowly grind down your self-worth with fear and negativity. On the other hand, humility can foster resilience, self-improvement, and balance in your life with accuracy. Through separating self-criticism and humility, you can develop a realistic, accepting, and self-compassionate method for continued growth and self-fulfillment.
Want to Know More?
For more information about mental health or even starting a therapy journey of your own, please visit our website at Greatlakesmentalhealth.com
Better Begins Today!
Reflections 
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