By: Camden Baucke, MS, LLP
“Not all thoughts are true“.
That doesn’t mean everything you think is false, but it also doesn’t mean that everything that crosses your mind is true. The truth is that our thoughts can be just as biased as we are.
When we accept thoughts that aren’t true, or reject thoughts that are, we can get into plenty of trouble.
We can be mean to ourselves, to others, and keep believing in thoughts that continue to cause harm.
It’s up to us to determine which thoughts are more accurate than others. In this article, I will provide you with some quick tips to help you determine which thoughts are worth trusting and which one’s aren’t.
You are Not your Thoughts
If your brain wants popcorn, you don’t suddenly become “popcorn person.”
Your thoughts do not become your identity, they are something you experience. Thoughts are simply messages sent back and forth in the brain by neurons. They transmit information, that’s all.
If you brain thinks “wow, I look horrible today“, that is just a biased thought, not truth.
It is your (1) subjective observation that’s filtered through (2) perceptual bias, which is composed of (3) beliefs.
Beliefs are learned assertions about what is likely to be true.
So, the ultimate product of a thought is not an identity, it is a message. That message might be false.
False Thoughts Don’t Indicate Brokenness
When an extraordinarily kind person apologizes for interpreting themselves as harsh, do you tell them they are broken? Or do you simply debate their false thought?
Experiencing false thoughts doesn’t mean your brain is broken. The fact you can tell accurate from inaccurate means you can perform a very wise mental exercise. You can sift through which thoughts are more likely to be true than others.
Having inaccurate thoughts is not specific to any person or group. It is part of the human condition. We exist between the extremes of absolute truth and absolute falsehood and try to figure out the grey together.
To effectively challenge your thoughts, you need to understand that a false one would not mean you are less intelligent, capable, resourceful, kind, or human than before. It is a thought, a thing, a neurological spark, and nothing more.
Cognitive Challenging: Sifting
When you challenge a thought, you’re practicing a psychological exercise grounded in decades of research.
You are not simply beating yourself up and telling yourself that you’re wrong.
Cognitive challenging is like a football coach challenging a play after it happens. They approach a referee, asking for them to further review the previous play. The referees review the footage of the previous play, and either confirm what they called before or make a change based on what they saw. Cognitive challenging is pretty similar, except you are both the coach and the referee.
You don’t need to self-blame, self-criticize, or beat yourself up at all. The purpose is accuracy, and self-respect can help you find it faster.
The next question is, what kind of thoughts should you question?
Sifting out Absolutes & Abstracts
If your thought is, “I need to complete homework questions 5 through 10 before it’s due on Monday morning” then you probably don’t need to question it. It’s grounded, detailed, and accurate.
If your thought is, “I need to be productive today or else my future is ruined” then you should question it. Thoughts like this are abstract, absolute, and overall more likely to be influenced by beliefs than fact.
Question Absolutes
Absolutes are “total“, black-and-white, extremes.
They are the “always” and “nevers.” Because absolutes are so extreme, they contain little to no ambiguity. Given how complex the world is, something with such little ambiguity is more likely to be false.
Are you “never right?” That thought would likely be inaccurate, because you’ve surely been right at several points throughout your life.
If you can recognize the absolutes in the language of your thoughts, start challenging it. Ask yourself to clarify, and refine that thought to a more realistic version that is grounded in the minutiae of life.
Question Abstracts
If you think, ” I need to be productive” that is a very abstract concept.
What do you need to produce? How do you need to produce it? When? Why? To what extent? For whom?
If you think, “I need to create a sales spreadsheet for tomorrow morning’s meeting” then you basically answer all those questions, making it a detailed and grounded thought.
You need to question abstract thoughts, and trust detailed ones instead. That’s because you’re more likely to find truth in what is more grounded.
In clinic, I field plenty of questions about “being” abstract things; “What if I am a threat…stupid…bad”
Like a dad joke, I sometimes reply with “hello threat, I’m dad.”
You are not stupid or bad, you think you are stupid or bad, but at what? when? where? with whom?
If your thought is abstract, it’s likely overwhelming because its negative meaning covers more of your life than it actually does. It’s horrifying to think that you are a “terrible person.” However, a more grounded thought like, “I am not great at playing chess, but I could get better if I wanted to“, is much less intimidating, and more likely to be accurate.
Final Thoughts
Cognitive challenging isn’t easy, but it’s evidence-based and can help you better determine which thoughts are more accurate than others.
More accurate thoughts are often linked to a happier life, so take the time to question your thoughts. Not your identity, not your worth, just the signals passing through your brain.
Simply ask them questions, make them earn their keep by providing sufficient, detailed, and grounded answers. If they’re absolute or abstract, question them further. You don’t even have to believe them. Mindfulness can be the outcome for a mind full of grounded thoughts.
You deserve the chance to challenge your thoughts, and I encourage you to take it.
Reflections 
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