By: Camden Baucke MS LLP
Values are an incredible tool that can transform your everyday life.
They are the hidden motivations behind what we find important.
I believe discovering your personal values is crucial to tailoring your life to what matters most to you.
What do you care about? What do you prioritize?
Your answer might not be the same as everyone else, and you can explore why that is.
In this article, I’m going to talk about what personal values are, why they matter, and how you can start using them today.
What are Personal Values?
Personal values are subjects of importance that serve as the foundation of your life.
They are prioritized principles (which are NOT rules).
Even the word “principle” comes from the Latin “Principium” which means “first” or “foundation“.
This means that certain subjects or beliefs are prioritized by how essential they are to the foundation of your life.
For example, consider the value of “creativity“.
Creativity is a word that describes the creation of things: Ideas, structures, stories, projects, etc.
It is not a RULE that you MUST create or face the consequences – it is a priority where creative actions spark immense joy and align with what you find foundational and important in YOUR life.
Not everyone feels this same way when being creative, because it might not be their foundational subject – but it can be yours nonetheless.
How Do We Develop Values?
While everyone can determine their own values, that doesn’t mean we don’t have influences.
Family is a common place for us to inherit values – parents who model what to love and prioritize.
Culture and community is another common source of values.
Your unique personality and personal story might also inform you of what you value – but not always in a good way.
Adaptive Values
Values can be inherited, learned, or acquired – but they can also spawn out of necessity.
A child, threatened by their parents for being different, might adopt their parent’s values to be safe.
These children and teens often develop values just to survive – but they’re usually not fulfilling.
There’s also “should be” values – which means you have an idealized version of yourself who could materialize if only you fulfilled those values you “should have“.
Essentially, you might think of values for (1) who you had to be (2) who you think you should be & (3) who you genuinely are.
As you can guess, living by sincere personal values is almost always more rewarding in the long-run.
Why are Values Important?
Values are crucial to wellbeing because they tailor life events and actions to what you think is important.
If someone values creativity as a prioritized principle, yet they never have opportunities to be creative at home or at work, then they are living an misaligned life.
In Stephen Hayes’s Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which is a form of “3rd wave CBT“, values are a crucial tenet of psychological flexibility – the core of mental health.
With ACT, therapists typically engage clients in value work, which means identifying what’s most important to you and how you can start to include those foundational principles in your everyday life.
This is what’s called living a “value-aligned life“.
To start, you usually need to look at a list of what you could value.
Selecting Your Values
I’m going to provide you a list of values, but I want you to know a couple things first.
(1) I want you to select the top 10 values that speak most to you – you can order them, but you don’t need to.
(2) The values that speak to you will spark excitement or peace – NOT relief, which is just ridding of distress.
(3) I want you to ask yourself with each selection: Is this what I “should” value, “needed” to value, or sincerely “do” value – right here and now.
Time to Double Check Your Values
I want you to take a look at the top 10 values you selected.
Ask yourself again: (1) Is this something I needed to be valued to be wanted? (2) Do I need to value this to be a good person & (3) Do I actually value this as I am right now?
Make changes accordingly until you have a list that fits you as you are.
Investing in Your Values
Values are nice to look at, but their usefulness depends on how you put them into action.
Like if you were going to build a home – you need to invest plenty of material into the foundation.
I’d encourage you to find ways you can act on the values you picked the most – everyday, once a week, once a month, twice a year, and so on.
For example, valuing creativity needs to result in actions that introduce creativity into your life.
You can write short stories, start building birdhouses, begin drawing, or explore art museums.
I’m even a proponent of changing big life functions to match your values – find a job that lets you do what you care about most or find friends and loved ones who share or encourage your top values.
Because each day, filled with value-aligned behavior and investments into your unique self, can look more like a life that fits exactly who you are.
For kicks and giggles, select your #1 top value.
Then, identify behaviors or activities that you can invest resources in (time, money, energy) in the following frequency:
1 – Every Day
2 – Once a Week
3 – Once a Month
4 – Twice a Year
Please remember, that value-aligned habits is not another rule for the sake of rules.
Values are not to be treated as merely self-restrictive and inflexible boundaries.
They are to be respected and invested in, as are you.
Tailor Your Life to Your Values
Personal values have the power to transform your life – but they need to be yours.
I encourage you to take some time and reflect on what your values are, how they make you feel, and how to start putting them into action.
Values aren’t rules, another checkbox to feel better about yourself, or rigid principles that lead to a narrow-minded life.
Personal values are your preferences put into words, which can manifest into actions and tailor your life to what matters most.
Reflections 
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