By: Camden Baucke MS LLP
Hi everybody,
Turkey day is around the corner.
This holiday is defined by the dinner table, a battleground for every topic you’re taught not to mention – religion, politics, and sex.
Ironically, a holiday based on gratitude and connection is synonymous with discord.
Turns out, there’s plenty of fighting during Thanksgiving. If that stresses you out, you’re not alone.
Millions of families are less than a week away from talking politics in one of the most politically tumultuous times in history.
That’s why I’m here to help you take care of yourself. Prioritizing yourself is important, but it’s not selfish.
For the record, you can value family – but you’re a part of that family – thus, you must value your own wellbeing too.
In this article, we will cover what stressors may arise at the dinner table and practical steps you can take to protect your mental health.
Conversational Bullets to Dodge
As you can guess, there’s going to be plenty of heated topics that can come up at the dinner table.
1 – Politics
Donald Trump, Democrats, Republicans, Epstein files, government shutdown, ICE, Immigration policies, etc.
These are likely to be the hot political topics that can sneak their way into a Thanksgiving dinner discussion.
The general name of each of these events, people, and concepts will be important to look out for if you want to protect your mind this Turkey day.
2 – Religion
Charlie Kirk, Christian nationalism, immigration, and more might be brought up this Thanksgiving.
I know it’s also political, which combines two of the biggest inflammatory subjects possible.
If it regards religion, faith, spirituality, or none of the above, it will be important to know what to do when you hear it.
3 – Sex
Unfortunately, this might also be wrapped up in the current political and religious climate.
It could also be referenced on an individual level, regarding specific friends or family.
If you have a disposition towards this topic, it’s important to know what to do when it comes up.
The First Step is Your Choice
While this is a guide, it’s not a command. You are capable of making your own choices this Thanksgiving.
Since you can, what do you think would best serve your values and interests?
Do you want to take center stage and advocate, or would you better provide commentary?
Would you want to mind your own business to protect your holiday? You might be busy and work hard the rest of the time, why should your breath of fresh air be purposefully stressful?
I want you to close your eyes and imagine what an enjoyable holiday would look, sound, and feel like.
What do you see? Who is there, what are you eating, and where are you?
What do you hear? What is being said? Who is talking?
What do you feel? Is it excitement, warmth and connection, or relaxation?
This is your 2025 Thanksgiving. Taking ownership of your holiday is what allows you to make a choice that best fits your goals.
Tips to Promote Your Well-Being This Turkey Day
Once you’ve decided what you want for Turkey day, the next step is to control what you can.
We cannot control others, and unfortunately, that’s typically who brings up politics, sex, and religion.
This is the year to mold your experience by molding your own decisions – here are some ways you can do that.
1 – Smart Scheduling
The first step to protecting your holiday is being exact with your planning.
For every Thanksgiving event, there is a start and end time – depending if you are attending or hosting.
If you’re hosting – you get to set the start time and closing time.
If you’re attending – you get to arrive when you want and leave when you want.
If you choose to do anything for Thanksgiving, your choice of time management will be important in managing your mental health.
For example, I would encourage you to consider what is an acceptable amount of time you will spend with family before you reach your stress limit.
If you know certain topics (religion, politics, sex) will be brought up at certain times, then you can plan around that. You can choose to engage or abstain and do something else.
It’s often hard, because we can love our family – but not always what they choose to believe.
2 – Boundaries with Yourself & Others
Respect is necessary. Not respect in an insecure way, where someone disagreement is misinterpreted as “disrespectful“.
Respectful as in the tone of voice, word choice, and approach to someone who holds a different viewpoint.
That doesn’t mean you have to be okay with everything someone supports, does, or believes.
If you know you have a combustion point – where you start to hurt rather than discuss, it’s good to have a boundary with yourself. Your quality of life matters.
You might also need boundaries with others.
If someone tries to speak about these subjects with you, but you don’t want to, then you don’t have to.
You have control over your words, especially the ones you don’t want to say.
If you need boundaries, communicate them clearly with specific people. This means you want to be around them, but your wants and needs need to be considered. This isn’t selfish – people who care usually don’t mind abiding by boundaries.
3 – Find Your Safe People
You need safe people. Your holiday needs to include people who are safe, or have enough safe people to manage a situation that feels uneasy.
If you have specific friends or family around for the holiday, stick to them.
Trust is key to feeling at ease, and safety is crucial to enjoying your Thanksgiving.
You don’t need to spend your time around people who need convincing. You can, but you easily have the choice not to.
Safe people deserve the same, if not more, attention than those who would make your experience worse.
4 – Self-Care & Anger Management
Your emotions are also worth managing.
If someone brings up religion, sex, or politics, then it’s important to know what to do when you feel sour inside.
To manage the heat in your ears, the itchy nose, and the angry pressure in your chest that could almost lift you off the ground.
If you are overwhelmed, numb, or outraged, take some time for yourself.
Take a walk, step away for 10 minutes to do some deep breathing (5 seconds in, 8 seconds out).
Pull aside a trusted person or partner, share your thoughts and validate each other.
If you need a debrief afterwards, plan it. If you need some time to yourself before Thanksgiving, plan it.
You deserve some time and space to feel just how frustrated you really are, but with none of the consequences of letting it combust over the dinner table.
Final Thoughts – Caring About Your Holiday
I know holidays are full of obligations, but I really want you to include yourself in this Thanksgiving.
Religion, politics, and sex might be brought up at the dinner table, but you get to choose how you respond.
You get to choose how you plan for the holiday, how you set boundaries, who you deem safe, and how you manage your anger.
Valuing yourself and your holiday doesn’t mean you devalue anyone else’s.
It means you are as worthy of a fun and relaxing day as anyone else.
Reflections 
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