2025 is here, and so are New Year resolutions. These resolutions are notorious for failing within just a few weeks. In fact, there’s data to back this up. The primary reason is that goals are only as effective as our connection to what they accomplish. If your goals are superficial or unachievable, you’re unlikely to complete them. Motivation is like memory—it must be driven by emotional meaning. As a therapist, I’ve found that emotions are the most crucial factor, as they accumulate to form your life experience. I’ve developed a method for setting New Year resolutions, and it follows a specific order.
What Do You Want to Feel?
This is a crucial question for effectively setting goals for the year. What is it that you want to feel? While some feelings are fleeting, the efforts we put in create an accumulative effect in our lives. This emotional outcome is the true benefit of our goals. It’s not about achieving a superficial appearance or earning a trophy to impress others—it’s about creating the experiences that make or break your day. So, what do you want to feel by the end of 2025?
Make a list of five New Year resolutions for the year, but frame each one as a feeling you’d like to experience throughout the year. For example:
- I want to feel healthier.
- I want to feel accomplished.
- I want to feel connected in my relationships.
- I want to feel more knowledgeable.
- I want to feel satisfied with my work.
These New Year resolutions sound great! If you can go through the year feeling better in your relationships, work, and body, that’s fantastic. These feelings represent the outcomes of accomplishing your goals. Speaking of goals, let’s move on to how you can achieve your resolutions.
S.M.A.R.T. Goals
Now that you have your New Year resolutions, it’s time to chart a course to achieve them. This is where your goals come in. Goals are the steps you take to fulfill a resolution. By framing goals as the method to achieve your desired feelings, your goals serve you—not the other way around. For each New Year resolution, write down three goals that will help you achieve that feeling.
These goals must be SMART goals:
- Specific – Clearer goals are easier to achieve.
- Measurable – Allow yourself a way to track and celebrate your progress.
- Actionable – Ensure you can control the steps needed to achieve the goal.
- Realistic – Judge whether the goal can be realistically accomplished within the year.
- Timebound – Set a timeline for advancing toward your goals.
For example:
2025 Resolution #1: I want to feel healthier
- Goal #1: Walk for 30 minutes after I get home from work.
- Goal #2: Stretch for 20 minutes once a week.
- Goal #3: Go to physical therapy at least once a month.
As you can see, completing these goals serves the resolution. This approach addresses the most common reason for failing resolutions: a lack of meaningful connection to the goal’s outcome. If your goals are solely based on perfect adherence and discipline, you’re likely to quit. By ensuring that goals serve your resolutions, you don’t have to achieve them perfectly.
Additionally, you can adjust your goals if they aren’t contributing to your resolution. Change what you do or how you do it, but ensure your goals are tailored to fit your life. Like a well-tailored suit, your goals should adapt to your life’s context and needs.
What Do You Sacrifice For?
Discipline can be described as sacrificing something now to achieve something meaningful in the long run. But what if you make sacrifices for an outcome that means nothing to you? Discipline is only valuable if your long-term goal is worth the effort. Too often, New Year resolutions fail because we sacrifice for goals we don’t truly want.
If you need direction when planning your resolutions, start with your values. Values are unique to your life experience and can shape a life that brings you happiness. Here’s a list of values to help you identify what matters most to you:
https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/list-of-values.html
Select five values that resonate with you to guide your New Year resolutions. Once you find your top five values, try and incorporate them into your resolutions for the year. For example, if you value adventure then your resolution can be to feel more adventurous, then set goals to make that happen.
A Year of Authentic Living
A New Year resolution is only as powerful as the change it can bring to your life. Since it’s YOUR life, that change must be meaningful to YOU. Your goals should fit YOUR life. Think of your routine as a scheduled method to ensure progress toward your goals, which ultimately serve your resolutions. This alignment ensures your resolutions are sustainable and rooted in authenticity. You are allowed to chase the life you imagine for yourself, as long as it is truly yours.
Here’s to a Happy and Meaningful 2025!
Please Subscribe!
Reflections 